Ask Agony Aunt Lisa – Coping With Breakups

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Rainbow Counsellor Lisa Michelle is here to help with your problems.

My partner and I have been separated for 9 months. I miss him dearly, but wasn’t able to give him what he needed, despite giving all I could for 3 years. I have recently discovered he has a new partner, and a range of emotions have risen to the surface. Even though our relationship was probably quite dysfunctional, I still think of him often. What is wrong with me?

You are human – that’s what’s wrong with you! It’s natural to fear ‘what if’ when our exes find new partners. I am wondering if in yoel some sense of sadnessur case there was any closure on your part? You say you were unable to give him what he needed – perhaps you are regretful that you couldn’t? You think there may have been some dysfunction in the relationship – perhaps you would never have been able to please him? It’s not wrong to think of him and grieve your loss, but to think of him too often is unhealthy for you. Let him go, and embrace life.

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 Article | Aunt Lisa

Lisa Michelle is a Chaplain and Counsellor for the GLBT Community, working with both Rainbow Youth and OUTLine NZ as an independent consultant and also on the board of OUTLine.

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