Former Kiwi Ferns Captain Honey Hireme-Smiler has made history as the first woman to commentate across both the men’s and women’s NRL. To celebrate, Honey speaks to express about the progress of women’s rugby and her advice for same-sex parents.
FOR THE FIRST TIME, HALF OF SKY SPORT’S NRL SEASON TEAM ARE FEMALE, WITH YOURSELF, LAURA MCGOLDRICK, AND COURTNEY TAIRI. WHAT DOES THAT OPPORTUNITY MEAN TO YOU?
It’s very special to commentate across both the female and male sports. When I was playing, there was just one female commentator, Melody, and I was lucky enough to have her commentating on some of my games. Now, there’s a whole range of us, it’s not just covering female sports, but all sports. I know that it’s a very privileged position to be in, and I want to make sure that I’m doing a good job, and I’m there because I’m good at what I do, not just because I’m female.
YOU’RE NOT ONLY BREAKING SOME BARRIERS FOR WOMEN IN GENERAL, BUT ALSO QUEER PEOPLE. IS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU?
I am very proud. I don’t hide the fact that I love my wife and that I am in a beautiful marriage. When I grew up, I didn’t see any other gay female presenters on TV. I felt that if we were ‘out’ we would not be sought to be on TV. We were just kept in our athlete box, and even within that environment, if I were to talk about my family in interviews, I was encouraged to use the word ‘partner’ and not girlfriend. It’s a lot more accepting these days.
WE’VE JUST SEEN THE FIRST ALL BLACK COME OUT. WHAT DID THAT MOMENT MEAN FOR YOU, AND WHAT IMPACT DO YOU THINK THAT HAS ON RUGBY’S FUTURE?
I feel really proud of Campbell. There has been a stereotype around female athletes, specifically in the woman’s rugby and league, that we’re all just a bunch of butch girls, but for a male All Black to come out is really powerful. Seeing that his old teammates and current All Blacks really encouraged him made me feel really grateful to be in today’s society, where we’ve shifted to real acceptance.
IN YOUR CAREER, DID YOU EXPERIENCE ANY HOMOPHOBIA ON THE PITCH OR IN THE LOCKER ROOM?
There’s been a number of occasions where, I didn’t experience it, but I felt
like I had to hide that part of my life. It was probably a cultural thing, as well as wanting to protect my family. I was very protective because of the era that I grew up in. It took me until I was in my twenties to come out, even though I knew at a fairly young age.
DO YOU FEEL PROFESSIONAL RUGBY IN NZ IN 2023 IS A SAFE SPACE FOR PLAYERS TO BE OUT?
I do. Both for males and females. A lot of our sporting organisations now are a lot more inclusive and educated. Sport traditionally focused just on winning; now it’s more about that sense of belonging, regardless of sexuality or race, and bringing your whole self, whatever that looks like. Not just being the elite of the elite.
YOU MUST HAVE SEEN A LOT OF GROWTH IN WOMEN’S RUGBY SINCE YOU STARTED PLAYING PROFESSIONALLY.
There are just so many more pathways now for female athletes coming through, specifically in rugby and league. They can come out of high school and make it a career path now. For me, that definitely was not the case. I had my son, at 10 weeks old, on the sideline. I’d breastfeed him then run back onto the field, then go straight back to work the next day.
But rugby is also about so much more. I think back to my first rugby team, and I’m still friends with all those people. Later in life, when I told them, ‘I’ve got a girlfriend now and all those boyfriends I had were all fake.’ There was no judgment. All that stigma I had carried, I had put on myself. Now young athletes can come out, they can make sport their career, they can be who they want to be, and they’ve got all these amazing role models, like Ruby (Tui) and Portia (Woodman-Wickliffe). There’s more to do, but the growth has been exponential.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE COME NEXT?
It’s getting all the policies and procedures in place. We’ve just seen the NRLW finally confirm their collective bargaining agreement around some of the specifics for female athletes, like pregnancy strategies, childcare policies, and our baby’s being able to travel with us when we’re breastfeeding up to a certain age… There’s still a lot of work to do around transgender policies throughout different sports and how that looks. It’s good to see that our wider national sporting organisations, Sport New Zealand and High Performance Sports NZ, are really digging deep and doing the research.
IT’S PRIDE THIS MONTH IN WELLINGTON AND CHRISTCHURCH. WHAT MAKES YOU MOST PROUD?
My wife and I have three sons. They’re 22, 20, and 18, and it’s been really important to us to ensure that our young Maori men were raised to respect having two mums. I’m really proud of our boys and that they openly talk about their moms and have no shame of our blended family.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR SAME-SEX PARENTS?
Our normal is our normal. Love will continue to conquer all, and we gave them all the love we could when we raised our boys. We went through challenges as all families do. So raise them in your normal, because we’re no different to anybody else.
The NRL Telstra Premiership Season is screening exclusively on Sky Sport.
