Oliver Hall talks to the stars and director of the new Kiwi documentary Trans And Pregnant, which follows a trans/cis gay male couple’s pregnancy journey as they navigate New Zealand’s health system, gender dysphoria and society’s expectations of what a family should be.
TVNZ’s new documentary Trans And Pregnant follows the intimate journey of a Kiwi couple’s desire to start a family. Directed by Ramon Te Wake (The Boy, The Queen & Everything In Between), the documentary follows Rāwā Karetai Wood-Bodley (a cis bisexual man) and his husband Frankie Karetai Wood-Bodley (a gay trans man), who still desires to carry and birth his own child, years after transitioning.
Filmed over three years, the documentary was inspired when the two were interviewed for the Māori TV series Queer and Here.
“Rāwā was sharing experiences when the topic of parenthood came up. We mentioned our desire for Frankie to carry our child naturally, which sparked a moment of inspiration for the series director, Ramon Te Wake,” the couple tells us. A trans woman herself, Ramon has been making queer TV for decades, and her immediate interest gave the couple a sense of safety and trust, making them confident that “the project would be handled with care, respect and understanding.”
Ramon joined forces with producer Nicola Smith and tells YOUR ex, “We wanted to tell their story – two humans who are on a journey to parenthood. What does that look like? What does that feel like? We made that our North Star!”
For Frankie and Rāwā, they tell us their aim was to “demystify trans pregnancy and show that our journey was about love, family and the desire to bring a child into the world – universal themes anyone could relate to… Moreover, we sought to challenge the sensationalism often attached to trans stories.”
Relatable stories can be hard to forage from mainstream media, which is quick to champion extreme characters, wedge politics and confrontational debates when it comes to trans narratives.
“Our humanity is often forgotten,” Frankie points out. “Trans people, like all people, should live freely and equally in dignity and rights – in 2024, that is still not the reality for a lot of the community. We are often reduced to conversations about ‘safety’, particularly in bathrooms and sports. We are human, have dreams and aspirations and want to be valued by society for who we are, not who people think we are.”
So collectively, the team set out to tell their story honestly and authentically, capturing the struggles, desires and ultimately the joy of two people trying to carve out the life they want to be able to live in Aotearoa. In Trans And Pregnant, Frankie and Rāwā’s story is told with a gentle sensitivity and feels hugely relatable and human.
“The more we create these stories, the more networks see the social and cultural impact and value of that,” explains Ramon, whose career has been rooted in her passion for platforming takatāpui. We all know our communities are rich and diverse. Our screens should reflect that!”
In preparing to conceive, Trans And Pregnant follows as Frankie stops taking testosterone and braves dysphoria, as the couple’s friends worry about the reaction they might receive from society as Frankie begins to look visibly pregnant.
“We hope that stories like ours will pave the way for trans and non-binary people to see family creation as a possibility for themselves,” Frankie and Rāwā tell us, admitting that ultimately that meant they needed to be completely open and vulnerable, including sharing the pain of miscarriages, of which they endure two.
“We were willing to share it all – the hopes, the grief and everything in between… It was not just about capturing a successful pregnancy but documenting the natural, raw, and emotional aspects of trying to start a family as a cis/trans couple.”
As the documentary guides viewers deeper into Frankie and Rāwā’s lives, we meet Rāwā’s mother, who talks about the trauma experienced by their whole family when Rāwā was hit by a car at 10 years old and experienced life-altering injuries. We meet Frankie’s father, who has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease yet is still willing to openly discuss the experience of his child coming out to him as trans. In fact, just when you think the documentary couldn’t expose anything more, viewers will find themselves with a front-row view of Frankie’s home birth.
However, the couple tell YOUR ex that this is not new for them. “Sharing deeply personal aspects of our lives felt natural to us because our experiences of marginalisation have often required openness – to advocate for ourselves and others. Being transparent about who we are, our identities and our challenges is part of building understanding and connection.”
For Trans And Pregnant, over 300 hours of filmed footage needed to be whittled down to just a 49-minute documentary. So there had to be some nervousness in the room when the couple sat down with their director, producer and little baby, Hiwa, to watch it for the first time during Rotorua Pride. Luckily for all involved, they were elated with the brilliant work.
“We felt that Ramon and Nic had created something really special,” they tell us, understanding that given the circumstances, some of their story would need to be left in the editing room.
“What the documentary couldn’t fully convey was just how much love and support we received from our friends and family throughout this journey,” Frankie and Rāwā explain. “Over time, we came across many trans people who said they felt inspired to create a family because of hearing about our journey. We also learnt from friends about their struggles with fertility and the heartbreaking reality of queer people who were told they shouldn’t have children. It would have been wonderful to share more of these stories as they reflect how society is slowly becoming more accepting despite significant challenges.”
While society has a greater understanding and acceptance of trans people in 2024, which documentaries like Trans And Pregnant will ultimately increase, sadly the couple’s safety upon its release is still a concern. As they and their broadcaster get closer to the documentary’s release, meetings around the couple’s physical and online safety are an upsetting but necessary reality.
“The safety of ourselves, our family and our friends is a priority, especially given the visibility that comes with a documentary like this. We have worked closely with our employers, police and Netsafe to establish comprehensive safety plans for our online presence and physical safety. While we are committed to bringing visibility to the topic of trans pregnancy, we are also mindful of the potential risks, particularly in a world where transphobia still exists. However, we didn’t want to let fear dictate our actions,” they bravely tell us.
Ramon, a veteran of trans storytelling, has seen storms of outrage come and go and believes the couple are in the best position to weather it.
“The biggest challenge for making Trans And Pregnant isn’t them, us or the baby – it will be the judgements and opinions of society. But the boys are so well supported in their community, and everyone who’s helped make this doco has a real duty of care around them,” she tells us, recommending that anyone personally affected by the documentary’s themes stay away from comment sections. “Social media is an option, and being off it is also a great act of care.”
Trans And Pregnant airs at 7.30pm on Monday 11 November on TVNZ 1 and TVNZ+.
