Stephen Fry has defended his 30-year age-gap marriage to husband Elliott Spencer, brushing off criticism during an appearance on ITV’s The Assembly.
In preview clips from the programme, Fry addressed questions about his relationship, as well as his past drug use and religious beliefs. The series, which launched this month, features autistic, neurodivergent and/or learning-disabled interviewers asking celebrity guests a broad range of questions.
Fry, 68, was asked directly what he says to people who object to age-gap relationships, referring to the 30-year difference between him and Spencer, who is 38.
“I feel a bit sorry for them. I don’t see why they should have such an opinion about things,” Fry said.
He added: “The only thing that should matter in a relationship is love and if you feel it,” stressing that it should be “felt on both sides” and “not an exploitative relationship”.
Fry also rejected suggestions that the age difference means there is an imbalance of power in the marriage.
“I mean, I always say to people that in our relationship, Elliot has all the power, really,” he said, adding that Spencer “makes a lot of the decisions”.
The episode also included a more explicit question about Fry’s sexual preferences, prompting a typically dry response.
“Wow! That is direct as it gets,” he said, before choosing to leave the matter unanswered.
Fry and Spencer first met at a house party in 2012. They married in 2015, just 10 days after publicly announcing their engagement. At the time, Spencer also dismissed criticism of their relationship, saying:
“I don’t care what people think,” and: “Stephen is the love of my life, the light of my life.”
Fry has spoken publicly about the relationship on several occasions, including discussing why it works for them despite the age gap. As one of the UK’s most prominent openly gay public figures, he has also been open about his wider experiences of sexuality and stigma, including previously saying that as a teenager, being gay felt like there was “a horror inside him”.
The interview is likely to spark fresh conversation not only about age-gap relationships, but also about the no-filter format of The Assembly, where guests are faced with unusually candid and unpredictable questions.
