Matt McVeigh discusses his Mr Bear Australasia win
How did it feel to hear your name announced as Mr Bear Australasia winner?
What was running through my mind? Absolutely nothing for about 20 minutes!
Once my brain finally restarted, I just felt incredibly grateful—to the judges, the organisers, the competitors and everyone who had supported me along the way.
What brought you over from the UK and made you decide to make Aotearoa home?
It was a job and a sense of adventure. I grew up in Newcastle, went to university there and started working there, but I felt like I wanted something more.
It was only supposed to be for a year. Ten years later, I’m still here. I fell in love with the people, the community, the motu, and the sense of belonging I found here. Over time, New Zealand started feeling like home.
What did your coming out experience look like?
I feel like I’ve come out several times, but I suppose I was about 23 when I came out to my Mam. She did NOT take it well but, kudos to her, she has since become a huge ally. My Mam and Dad have since visited NZ a few times, celebrated at Big Gay Out and enjoyed the Pride parade. They have both said how grateful they feel to have seen my life here and know I’m safe and cared for not only by my partner and friends but by the wider community.
Sometimes people need time to process new information. Sometimes they surprise you. Sometimes they don’t, but wherever you fall on the rainbow spectrum, you belong. You are worthy of love, friendship and community exactly as you are. You will find your people.
The only thing my Mam was concerned about was that she thought I was doing Mr Bare NZ rather than Mr Bear NZ. She didn’t want me naked on stage, and as far as she’s concerned, I have never been naked on stage! (Shhh!)
The bear community is often associated with a particular look. What was it like to find your place in the community?
While appearance remains part of bear culture, being a bear is increasingly about self-identification, community and connection rather than fitting a specific physical mould.
I often describe myself as an otter rather than a bear, and when I first started attending bear events I wasn’t entirely sure where I fitted in. What I discovered was a community with room for all.
What does the bear community give people beyond the social side of things?
Isn’t it nice to walk into a space where you can just be yourself? I think that’s really the heart of it.
As Mr Bear Australasia, what issues would you most like to champion during your reign?
The bear community gave me a place where I felt I belonged, and I’d like to spend my year helping create that same feeling for other people.
You don’t have to look very far to see that we’re entering a more uncertain time for parts of the rainbow community. Around the world, we’re seeing increased debate around queer rights and identities, and that’s exactly when community matters most. We have always been strongest when we stand together and support one another. That includes continuing to stand alongside our trans and gender-diverse whānau, whose voices and experiences deserve to be heard and respected.
Since your win, have there been any moments that have particularly stayed with you?
What has stayed with me most was a conversation with a man in his 60s who had only recently come out. He said, “You’re everything I wish I was when I was your age.”
That moment perfectly captured why visibility still matters. Sometimes just seeing someone live openly and authentically can help another person believe they can do the same. That’s what this community is all about.
Bear community catch-ups take place at Furry Fridays on the fourth Friday of every month at Café 39 in Ponsonby, Auckland and S&M’s bar on Cuba Street, Wellington; and in Christchurch on the third Thursday of every month at Pomeroy’s Old Brewery Inn
