Frankie Grande has spoken candidly about the “femmephobia” he says he has faced from within the LGBTQ+ community, revealing that writing his memoir, Supergay, helped him better understand the hostility directed towards him.
Speaking backstage at Titanique on Broadway, Grande said he had long struggled to make sense of the criticism he received from other gay men.
“I didn’t understand why I got so much hate from gay men, and it’s actually femmephobia,” he said, as per Gayety. “I didn’t understand that.”
That realisation became the foundation for some of the memoir’s most personal and reflective chapters.
“What is it about me that is so scary to members within our own community?” he asked.
Grande Says His Presentation Challenges Queer Gender Norms
Grande said he has never felt compelled to present himself according to conventional ideas of masculinity.
Instead, he openly embraces makeup, heels, glitter and revealing clothing as part of his everyday self-expression.
“I choose to present myself as female oftentimes, very often, not as a drag queen, but because I love makeup and I love heels and I love glitter and I love tight revealing outfits,” he said. “These things are shocking and defy even queer gender norms.”
Grande also explained that, when imagining himself as a performer, he was drawn to female pop icons rather than traditionally masculine stars.
“When I became a pop star, my very first thing I wanted to do was be Britney Spears. I wanted to be Madonna,” he said. “I didn’t want to be a male character.”
Memoir Helped Grande Connect Femmephobia With Misogyny
Writing Supergay also led Grande to conclude that the hostility he experiences is linked not only to homophobia, but also to misogyny.
He believes some people react negatively to him because he is a man who willingly embraces femininity in a society that often treats feminine characteristics as less valuable.
“It’s because I’m a man who chooses to present female. And why would you do that? Because women are deemed lesser,” he said.
“I am a victim of misogyny as a fem-presenting man, which is crazy to me… The way that I’m hated is more in line with the way women are hated than the way gay men are hated.”
Grande’s reflections highlight how expectations around masculinity can remain deeply embedded within LGBTQ+ communities, despite broader efforts to challenge rigid ideas about gender and identity.
Through Supergay, he says he was able to examine those experiences more closely and understand how femmephobia, misogyny and homophobia can overlap.
