Former U.S. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg says he worries about how young men are increasingly alienated from progressive politics — and believes the left needs to offer a more constructive vision of masculinity rather than only condemning “toxic” versions of it.
Speaking to GQ , Buttigieg reflected on his own journey and how he approaches dialogue with those who disagree with him.
Feeling Left Out of the Story
“You have a lot of younger men who viewed the things that have changed [over the last five years] as going so far that they no longer see where they would fit in a more progressive story,” Buttigieg said. “That’s a tragedy, because young men have a lot to lose, maybe the most to lose, from some of the mistakes happening in our politics and government.”
He added that progressives sometimes reinforce this alienation by adopting a tone that is “scolding and finger-wagging” or treating masculinity as synonymous with toxicity.
“Nobody wants to feel like they’ve got to look over their shoulder all the time,” he said, drawing parallels between the pressure he felt growing up to appear “masculine enough” and the current anxiety some men feel about being labelled “toxic.”
Rethinking Masculinity
Buttigieg said he defines his masculinity not through posturing but through qualities like honesty, loyalty, decency, and protection of loved ones. He also values emotional openness in his closest male relationships.
He urged young men to develop character and skills for leadership that aren’t ego-driven — even as technological shifts and AI disrupt economic security and deepen isolation.
“The key is for people to understand that positive change is not at your expense,” he said, pointing to marriage equality as an example of progress that strengthened society without harming others.
How He Handles Political Opponents
Buttigieg also reflected on his appearances on conservative media outlets like Fox News. He said he imagines speaking to men he grew up with in Indiana: people he disagrees with politically but respects.
“Say what you believe, be straightforward, be strong on what you believe, but don’t be a d**k about it,” he said.
He believes that cutting through performance and simply being direct is key to changing minds.
Family Life & The Beard Debate
Buttigieg credited his husband, Chasten, for being an equal partner in both emotions and household responsibilities. The couple, who have two children, support each other daily.
As for his new beard, Buttigieg laughed: “Chasten is strongly pro-beard, but our daughter asks me to shave it off every couple of nights because she says it’s scratchy when I’m kissing her goodnight. Our son hasn’t weighed in yet, so maybe he’ll be the swing vote.”
For now, he says, the beard is staying put.
