Australian pop star Troye Sivan has opened up about his long-standing struggles with body image after being publicly shamed by a TikToker who claimed he was undergoing “twink death”.
The 30-year-old launched a new Substack newsletter on Wednesday (21 January), kicking off with a raw and vulnerable post originally titled “F*** this guy!!”, later renamed to “feeling a bit uggo (ugly)”.
The post was prompted by a now-deleted TikTok from a doctor named Dr Zayn, who commented that Sivan looked “older” and was going through “twink death” — a term often used playfully within queer culture to describe someone growing out of the traditionally youthful and slender ‘twink’ aesthetic.
In his newsletter, Sivan candidly reflected on his appearance and shifting self-image, saying he oscillates between “feeling like I’m aging in a good way” and “feeling like Gollum’s very close pop-singing relative”.
“I’ve struggled with body image for a lot of my life,” he wrote. “I’m historically famously twinky, and I guess I’m transitioning out of that. I’m not THAT skinny anymore.”
Sivan also revealed feeling “somehow both skinny and fat at the same time,” a sentiment that many fans may find relatable.
As he navigates the pressures of fame and ageing in the public eye, Sivan said he finds himself torn between two approaches to body image. The healthier of the two is inspired by a comment from a major fashion industry figure who once advised him to “stay ugly”.
“Ie. don’t f*** with your face,” he explained. “How cool!! When everyone else has the same nose and no wrinkles and no smile lines and filler that’s migrated all the way down to their necks, you’ll be so happy and chic and weathered and wise.”
In addition to working on his mental approach, Sivan has also been hitting the gym, eating more, and tracking his calories — “in a way that feels less toxic than it sounds,” he wrote. He said he’s becoming “more muscley [sic], defined, and toned.”
However, the second approach he described is more toxic and anxiety-driven. He admitted to having a consultation to transfer fat from his leg to his under-eye area and being recommended Botox, though he’s hesitant.
“I really don’t want that frozen look,” Sivan said. “The cracks are starting to show though.”
The singer criticised the pressure to conform to aesthetic ideals, referencing Dr Zayn’s now-deleted post and the algorithm that amplified it.
“What good is money and modern medicine if not to fix all of these flaws that this random sicko f***ing plastic surgeon told me I have in an Instagram reel?”
Sivan also discussed his discomfort attending public events, such as the NGV Gala in December, where he felt awkward on the red carpet. Footage from that event was used in Dr Zayn’s TikTok commentary.
“It’s us vs species-endingly-insatiable corporate greed, with access to addictive brainwashing technology. Good luck!!!!” he wrote, reflecting on the broader cultural obsession with appearance.
Sivan concluded by encouraging readers to “keep your eyes on my under eyes for updates”, acknowledging the tension between self-acceptance and societal pressure. He also revealed that Dr Zayn had since reached out with a “thoughtful and sweet message apologising,” adding: “No hard feelings from my side whatsoever.”
The “Rush” and “Bloom” singer has previously defended his appearance, stating, “I like my body and I think that makes some people uncomfortable.” He also acknowledged past criticisms around the lack of body diversity in his “Rush” music video, saying:
“Everyone’s body is as beautiful as it is, including my own, and it just sucks to see people talking about other people’s bodies.”
