Ask Agony Aunt Lisa – Lonely House Husband


Rainbow Counsellor Lisa Michelle is here to help with your problems.

Q. I feel like a forgotten house husband! My partner works and I’m happy to potter around the house during the day, but when he’s home and on the computer I feel neglected. If he’s out somewhere I’m fine, but when he’s home and choosing to spend hours gaming online, the rejection seems tenfold. I don’t want to be a killjoy, but what can I do?

A. You need to let him know how you feel. It sounds like online gaming is a hobby and a relaxant for him after work. However, if it is something he does almost all of his spare time then he may have an addiction. Ask him for half an hour of his time, and share your feelings of rejection. Ask if he might negotiate both computer time and spending time together. If he gets lost in his games, like most people do, suggest he set a timer. Relationships take compromise, and that way you both get your needs met.


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Lisa Michelle is a Chaplain and Counsellor for the GLBT Community, working with both Rainbow Youth and OUTLine NZ as an independent consultant and also on the board of OUTLine.