Ask Agony Uncle Eli

Rainbow Counsellor Elijah Michel is here to help you

I’ve just discovered my son is gay. That’s not a bad thing in itself, but he’s only just turned 12 and I’m lesbian. People will think I’ve influenced him because he’s been raised by two women. Surely 12 is too young for him to know if he’s gay? People will think I’m responsible and look down on us. Is he gay because I am?

Of course not. Your orientation does not influence who he is attracted to, only affirm it you’ve now discovered. Do you recall how old you were when you noticed your same-sex attraction? Young people are coming into puberty earlier these days and will know in themselves who they find attractive, despite what society teaches around them. Whether or not it’s disclosed is another thing. Did your son share this with you or did you find out another way? Be gentle with him, continue to role model authenticity, and ensure your child’s feelings and needs always take precedence over others’ opinions of you.

If you have a question for Eli, email