Gay Olympian Mark Foster has opened up about the years he spent hiding his sexuality in his new tell-all memoir, My Double Life.
The BBC pundit and former Strictly Come Dancing contestant came out in 2017 at the age of 47, after a long and successful career as a professional swimmer.
Foster won an Olympic silver medal in 2008 and carried the flag for Great Britain during the Parade of Nations at the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympic Games.
In his memoir, Foster details the “double life” he lived as a closeted gay professional athlete.
“I kept my work and home lives completely separate, never the twain would meet. I got very good at telling half truths and outright lies. It was exhausting,” he said.
Foster continued: “When society tells you it’s not right, whether it be from the playground, the changing room or the TV, I kind of went, okay, whatever I’m feeling, I can’t be that person. That little secret became bigger and bigger.”
Before coming out publicly, Foster dated a woman named Catherine, but in reality she was a friend.
“Her actual partner didn’t mind, thankfully,” he said.
Foster now lives in Leigh-on-Sea in Essex with his partner, Craig McKay.
Foster says football still has “a long way to go”
Foster also reflected on other gay sports stars, saying he believes “there has to be footballers that will be gay” in the Premier League.
“There must be stories of some incredibly talented, incredibly gifted footballers who felt they could not be openly gay in that environment, because they felt it wasn’t going to be a safe place for them,” he said.
He specifically mentioned Justin Fashanu, who became the first openly gay professional footballer when he came out in 1990.
Fashanu faced intense hostility from fans, family and the media, and died by suicide in 1998.
“His story really affects me to this day,” Foster said.
“He was incredibly brave, but it goes some way to explaining why many gay people, myself included, felt unsafe to come out publicly.”
Foster said he believes attitudes in sport have improved, but not enough.
“Do I think it’s got better? Yes. Do I think it’s where it should be? No. It’s got a long way to go. People still use hate speech and call it free speech. There is still prejudice and widespread homophobia. It’s bullying.”
For Foster, My Double Life is not only a personal account of secrecy, pressure and survival. It is also a reminder of the cost of homophobia in sport, and of the freedom that can come from finally being able to live openly.
