The How I Met Your Mother star has reflected on coming out publicly in 2006, saying growing speculation about his sexuality made disclosure feel increasingly inevitable.
Neil Patrick Harris has opened up about the pressure he felt to publicly come out as gay in 2006, when celebrity gossip blogs were increasingly targeting stars over their sexuality.
Speaking on the 12 August episode of Great Company with Jamie Laing, Harris said coming out felt less like a single difficult decision and more like an “inevitability”.
At the time, Harris was dating his now-husband, actor and chef David Burtka. The pair had begun their relationship before Harris landed his career-defining role as Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother, and Harris said his colleagues knew they were together.
The public, however, did not.
“That was at a time when there were bloggers on the internet,” Harris recalled, describing gossip posts inviting readers to guess which supposedly closeted celebrities were gay.
“There was a fear that I would be the next target.”
Harris and Burtka would attend film premieres together, but only Harris would walk the red carpet.
“We could justify it and say that’s our private life, which it was,” Harris explained, while acknowledging that the situation risked making Burtka feel “less than”.
‘I’ve gotta get ahead of the story’
Things changed after a publicist responded to questions about Harris’ sexuality by saying the actor was not “of that persuasion”.
The comment intensified speculation.
“The target came towards me in a very weird way,” Harris said.
He became concerned that gossip outlets would begin publicly seeking information about his relationships and decided he needed to address his sexuality himself.
“I’ve gotta get ahead of the story,” he recalled thinking.
Harris worked with his agent and publicist to create a coming-out statement that felt authentic to him.
In November 2006, he publicly confirmed he was gay, describing himself as a “very content gay man” who was living his life to the fullest.
Harris admitted he was worried about the stigma that might follow, particularly given the level of overt homophobia still facing LGBTQ+ people at the time.
Instead, he remembers the reaction as largely uneventful.
“There was indifference at best,” he said, acknowledging LGBTQ+ people who came out publicly before him and faced considerably greater consequences.
“There were a lot of people before my coming out that had a much harder time, and that paved the way for me to come out.”
Harris and Burtka married in Italy in 2014 and have two children together.
Almost 20 years after his public coming out, Harris believes attitudes towards sexuality have changed considerably — and his experience is a reminder of just how rapidly celebrity culture around coming out has evolved.
While greater LGBTQ+ visibility has made coming out easier for many, Harris’ story also highlights an enduring principle: ideally, queer people should be able to decide for themselves when, how and whether they publicly disclose their sexuality.
