After a divorce, a move back in with her parents and a journey towards embracing her bisexuality, Ōtautahi alt-pop artist Phoebe Vic has found a new sense of freedom. She tells Oliver Hall how starting over in her thirties inspired her debut album, Mood Swinger.
Starting Over In Her Thirties
Five years ago, Phoebe Vic’s life looked very different. Her marriage was ending, she was moving back home, and the future she’d imagined for herself was suddenly up for reconsideration.
Today, the Ōtautahi musician has a debut album full of heartbreak, rage, sexual confidence and messy dating experiences. She’s also feeling rather good about herself.
“I have changed a lot!” she tells YOUR EX. “Five years ago, I wasn’t very happy in my life, and there were things I needed to figure out on my own.”
“It was tough, but ultimately it was the right decision for both of us. I don’t think I would have been making music the way I am now if I hadn’t gone through that process.”
Moving back home as an adult wasn’t always comfortable, but it gave Phoebe the breathing space to rebuild her financial security and work out what she wanted next.
“I stopped thinking about my age and started thinking about what I actually wanted to do with my life and my time,” she explains.
“You don’t need to buy into the pressure of ‘having it all figured out’. Life is far too short to worry about what everyone else is doing and whether you measure up.”
And, she adds cheerfully, “I also had heaps of therapy!”
Embracing Her Queer Identity
That period of reinvention included embracing her queer identity, something Phoebe hadn’t fully understood growing up in small-town North Canterbury.
“I was mostly bullied for being good at something and being a weird theatre kid!” she recalls. “I didn’t figure out until much later that I was bisexual.”
Coming out brought a sense of confidence she’d previously struggled to find.
“Coming out as a queer person allowed me to embrace all the different parts of myself. It gave me this groundedness and self-assuredness I hadn’t had before.”
Finding community in Christchurch helped too.
“Attending queer events and being surrounded by other queer people helped me feel safer to embrace my queerness,” she says, adding enthusiastically, “It’s awesome being in a room full of sapphics!”
Navigating Modern Dating
Armed with a new understanding of herself, Phoebe also found herself navigating the world of modern dating.
Her song Wasn’t That Deep was inspired by becoming disproportionately upset over a dating-app match that went nowhere. And while her music might suggest someone who confidently takes charge of romantic situations, the reality can be different.
“I tend to get really shy when I have a crush on someone, so the most ridiculous thing I’ve done is probably just lots and lots of loitering around instead of just starting a conversation with them,” she admits.
“So silly – just go talk to them, girl.”
Another track, Slipped Your Mind, explores the frustrations of dating in the app age when potential partners are seemingly endless, yet meaningful connections can feel increasingly elusive.
“There’s simultaneously everyone and no one who interests us,” she observes.
Phoebe has decided to abandon the endless scrolling in favour of meeting people organically.
“I’ve decided to be out in the real world and let my curiosity in people lead me somewhere exciting – it doesn’t even have to be romantically!”
Her experiences have also made her considerably clearer about what she will and won’t accept in relationships.
“If someone isn’t prepared to meet me where I am at, then I am not interested.”
Cringe Playlists And Lessons Learnt
Asked about the most embarrassing thing she’s done for love, her answer begins surprisingly seriously.
“Disrespected myself by staying with people who didn’t have my best interests at heart.”
Then comes the punchline.
“I have also made some pretty cringe playlists which, when I’ve listened back to them, make me wince!”
Fortunately, these romantic misadventures have provided considerably better material for her music.
“I could somewhat let those experiences go – I didn’t have to keep ruminating on them anymore.”
Making Music Her Way
And while her identity informs the person behind the music, she has little interest in conforming to anyone else’s expectations of what a queer artist should sound like.
“I make the music I want to make because it’s the kind of music I want to listen to,” she says. “Making art for other people is the death of creativity and good art in general. I make art for me, first.”
That independence extends to building a music career from Christchurch, where Phoebe balances her creative ambitions with a day job.
She acknowledges that being outside Auckland, where much of New Zealand’s music industry is concentrated, presents challenges. But after everything she’s experienced, she’s determined to keep making music her way.
And looking back, she wouldn’t necessarily change the difficult journey that brought her here.
“If I hadn’t split up with my ex and had the chaotic messy period afterwards, I wouldn’t have worked out what does and doesn’t serve me, what to take with me and what to let go of.”
“And then that’s when my music really started to take off.”
Mood Swinger is out now on major streaming platforms.
