Former NRL forward Kane Evans has opened up about the anguish he carried for much of his life, revealing he is gay and saying he hopes his decision to speak publicly can help others facing the same struggle.
As reported by The Daily Telegraph, Evans, who played 154 NRL games across stints with the Sydney Roosters, Parramatta Eels and New Zealand Warriors before later joining Hull FC, spoke about the internal battle he had endured since his teenage years.
Appearing on Nine’s 100% Footy, the former Warriors player and Roosters enforcer said he had spent years trying to hide who he was.
“I had three goals in life,” Evans said.
“And it was to play NRL, to buy my parents a house, and then I wanted to top myself, because I was living in denial from a young age.
“I know that I’m gay. But I went down every other avenue to sort of build up these walls. To be someone, to escape who I am.
“I still can’t believe that I’m here talking to you. This is definitely my worst nightmare. But I know if I surrender, its just going to be a start to a new life.
“I’ve been fighting a war within since I was about 15 years old and it’s not sustainable. I was sleeping in parks, doing drugs, trying to ultimately pass away so I didn’t have to come to this.
“But I know that there’s people who are struggling with the same struggle that I’ve gone through. So I’m very blessed that I can come here and talk to you, and be able to save a life or two.”
Evans was known as a powerful and intimidating presence during his playing career, but away from the field he said his life had unravelled as he struggled to accept his sexuality.
He revealed he had been couch surfing and sleeping in parks in Sydney before support arrived through former NRL player Joe Galuvao, who now works with the Rugby League Players Association’s past players and transition programme.
The Sydney Roosters and coach Trent Robinson also stepped in to help Evans as he began the process of rebuilding his life.
“Joe said, ‘you deserve to live a good life and you deserve healing’,” Evans said.
“I sat there and thought about what a good life or healing was. When he said that, that’s when I started questioning, maybe death isn’t in the plan for me yet. Maybe I do deserve to go and get help.
“I thank God that he came and visited me and got me into rehab with the help of the RLPA. Somehow Robbo got my number.
“He called me just to let me know that the Roosters are still my home and they’ve got my back, whatever I’m facing.
“That meant the world to me. He took me, my best friend, and one of my mentors to Roosters HQ a week after I got out of rehab.
“He gave them the full tour and took us into his office and virtually told me that the Roosters are paying for my mental health.
“Robbo, out of his own money, paid four weeks of my rent as I had just gotten into a place that week.”
Evans becomes the second high-profile male rugby league player to publicly come out as gay, following former NSW State of Origin forward Ian Roberts, who did so more than three decades ago.
For Evans, speaking publicly marked a turning point after years of fear, shame and pressure.
“I’ve carried [hiding his sexuality] around my whole life,” he said.
“I’m here today to show people that you don’t have to live like that. Even now I feel a bit more free, just by saying it out loud, I’ve brought it to the light.
“I’ve had people blackmail me. I’ve had people try to throw me under the bus, I’ve had people try to deflect their problems by trying to out me. And it just built up a lot of shame, and fear and guilt within myself.
“Now I’ve spoken about it, I’ve shattered all those chains. They’ve lost their power. I feel like coming and speaking to you today, fear, shame, guilt – all of that, I’ve cut ties with all that.
“I feel peace within, and I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I’m a bit proud of myself and when I look in the mirror, I’m going to smile now, not have those bad thoughts.”
The revelation follows previous reporting from the masthead that some rugby league player agents had been asked to keep players’ sexuality private.
Roberts, who became rugby league’s first openly gay player, has previously encouraged players in similar situations to make the decision that is safest and right for them.
“I can tell you I’ve had two instances over the past 15 or so years where (NRL) guys have got in touch with me. One of those was anonymous, I didn’t know his name, and the other one was semi-open about it,” Roberts said.
“They asked me what I thought the best situation was. I said ‘I can’t answer that for you’.
“All I told them was that you need to know that you are safe and loved and once you come out, you can’t go back in.
“Those two players ultimately never came out. I want to say to any gay male player – the best thing ever I did was come out.
“Look, it would be wonderful if they came out, but as long as that player is really comfortable with the decision.”
