Ask Agony Aunt Lisa: Being Gay and Disabled

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Rainbow Counsellor Lisa Michelle is here to help with your problems.

Q – I am not only gay but I am disabled. I broke my back and suffered a brain injury in an accident 3 years ago so I am now in a wheelchair and have a speech impediment. I have lots of people who want to be my friend, but no-one wants to be my partner. I have needs too, if you know what I mean…so how can I get them met if no-one will be with me?

A – One of our basic needs as humans is touch – safe, healthy touch. I hear you are longing for intimacy, which includes hugging and holding as well as emotional closeness. You are not alone. The good news is that you can enjoy healthy touch though massage – by a friend or a professional – and at least have your physical needs met until you establish a relationship with someone who appreciates you for you, regardless of your disability. Check out Paths Together, an organisation that promotes awareness around sexuality, disability, dating and relationships. You have as much right as anyone else to these things and I wish you well in finding a partner to share yourself with. In the interim, embrace the process!

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Lisa Michelle is a Chaplain and Counsellor for the GLBT Community, working with both Rainbow Youth and OUTLine NZ as an independent consultant and also on the board of OUTLine. If you have an issue you would like Lisa to talk about in express, email and let her know at ask@gayexpress.co.nz

Article | Lisa Michelle.

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