From a tough transient upbringing to making whole dancefloors move to his beats, DJ Ryan Borne discusses how he found where he belongs.
Where did you grow up, and how was growing up there for you?
I didn’t really grow up anywhere specific, as we moved around a lot when I was a child. From Waiuku through to Pottsville, a small beach town in NSW, Australia. Growing up was very hard for me. Moving around as much as we did meant not much stability and led to me not feeling like I belonged anywhere until later in life. Now I call Auckland home.
Please tell us a bit about what your coming-out journey looked like.
My coming-out journey, like many, was not great. I had trouble with my mother and her boyfriend at the time. I didn’t come out to them. However, my sexuality was assumed, and it was a big problem. From there, I tried to look up ‘help’ groups to get rid of these feelings. I was told and made to believe they were so wrong. Nothing really eventuated from those. It just got worse and worse for me from there, which led to my running away from home and leaving Australia when I was around 15–16. My father came to get me from Australia and brought me back to NZ. I stayed with him and came out to him at the washing line after being back for a few months. When I was trying to tell him, I said, ‘I have something to tell you,’ to which he replied, ‘I already know.’ I had been sneaking his alcohol, so I freaked out, not knowing what he knew, and he let me sit in awkwardness for a bit until I came out. It was very refreshing to have someone who didn’t have a problem with me being me. One thing that I learnt at a young age and am grateful for is that my family is the one I make – it’s not defined by blood.
Once you started going out to LGBTQ+ venues, did you find the gay scene a welcoming place?
I didn’t really go out a lot, but when I did, I remember how lovely some of the people were that I met at the time. The scene for me, especially now, is not going out to town – it’s going to the events that are put on. For me, these events are where I feel most at home and safe to just be myself.
When did you decide you wanted to be a DJ, and what inspired that decision?
Well, when I was younger, I used to produce music and did a little bit of DJing. It was something that helped me escape everything that was going on in my life at that time. I just loved electronic music and remember blasting CDs from the likes of the Ministry of Sound with my father dancing to them, pretending to be raving. I got back into it in 2020, and I have just been loving it so much. Seeing everyone dancing and just absolutely vibing to what I’m playing is the best feeling in the world. I just remember after playing my first Misbehaviour party, where I had done a live mashup of Miracle Maker from Dom Dolla with the White Lotus theme live, and seeing everyone lose their minds and hearing everyone sing the White Lotus theme to each other, I just stood there and thought, ‘This is it. This is where I want to be right now. I have created this’. I still go back and watch that video, and it just puts the biggest smile on my face.
How would you describe your DJing style?
My DJ style is all about unleashing pure energy and fun. I revel in the thrill of mixing unexpected genres – crafting a unique vibe that’s distinctly my own. With each set, I blend playful spontaneity and vibrant enthusiasm, turning every performance into an electrifying experience where the music and energy flow freely.
What are your top five favourite bangers at this moment in time?
Good Times – Sam Townend
Inferno – Schak
Little Miss Liability – Ross Homson
Time Effekt – WOLTERS
King Dick – BIG WETT
Outside of DJing, you are in a committed relationship with two men. How did you get into a throuple relationship?
It just kind of happened. We were all seeing each other, and things just progressed naturally, and here we are 4 years later. Being in a throuple relationship is definitely different, as you’re dealing with 4 different relationships (the throuple as a whole and then the individual relationships with each other), which means that communication is paramount. This dynamic has completely helped me and pushed me to explore things like attachment theory and how different attachment styles communicate and react, which I think is a great thing for anyone to do. It has helped me grow and be comfortable with myself. I am constantly pushed to be doing the things that make me happy. For example, I quit my 9-to-5 job and am studying audio engineering now. My family absolutely loves my two partners, and it was the easiest thing to tell them. I was just told, “As long as you’re happy,” and my friends are, and always have been, accepting and supportive of me.
You are also a part of the pup play community, a community that has become more and more visible on the scene in the last few years. What drew you to pup play, and are you surprised it’s become so mainstream?
I just always found pup play/the pup community intriguing, so I decided one day that I would like to give it a go. The prevalence of the Pup community, I think, is a testament to the events that are being put on by the community and the way some of these incorporate kink culture. People feel like they can just be themselves. However, that may be for them. I am so happy and proud to be a part of a community where the events being put on by the likes of SIR, Blackout, The Naked World and others are allowing people to explore and express themselves in any way they wish and be in such a safe environment to do so.
Follow Ryan on Instagram @ryanborne_
