Ask Agony Aunt Lisa: To Tell or Not To Tell?


Rainbow Counsellor Lisa Michelle is here to help with your problems.

Q) I was in town last weekend and saw my flatmate’s boyfriend with another guy. They were acting like they were a couple, kissing and hugging, and even left in a taxi together! My flatmate would be devastated if he knew he was being cheated on… again. Should I be the one to tell him?

A) While that certainly sounds like a dilemma, the fact that your flatmate’s boyfriend is out and about in public with another guy leaves me wondering if he is wanting to be seen – or if he has anything to hide at all? Are you sure your flatmate is in a monogamous relationship? You say he has been cheated on before. Was that by his current partner or an ex? Perhaps you could take the boyfriend aside and say you saw him in town with someone and see how he reacts. It’s always hard to know whether or not to step in with situations like this, but my life motto is the good old Golden Rule: treat others as you yourself would like to be treated. If you would like to know if your partner was cheating, then let him know.


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Article | Lisa Michelle

Lisa Michelle is a Chaplain and Counsellor for the GLBT Community, working with both Rainbow Youth and OUTLine NZ as an independent consultant and also on the board of OUTLine.