Dating: When Besties Become Cockblockers

‘Best Judies’ - Dorothy cockblocks the Cowardly Lion from the Tin Man’s raging heart-on!
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Ever wondered why that great sexy guy with the annoyingly possessive best friend is always single? No, you haven’t. You know exactly why! Dick Richards is here to put cockblocking ‘Judies’ on notice. You’re not a good friend if you get in the way of your bestie’s dreams!

In the famous words of New Zealand pop icon K’Lee, ‘1 + 1 + 1 (It Ain’t Two)’. I was listening to that iconic song the other day and it got me thinking… I just couldn’t deny that K’Lee was right. Because one plus one plus one is three, and when it comes to dating, three is definitely a crowd! No, I’m not talking about polyamory or threesomes or open relationships – I’m talking about dating someone who comes with a ‘plus one’ – the best friend. 

Best friends are not to be sneezed at. They are a rare special breed that deserved to be cherished. They are our lifeline, our ‘Judies’ (as RuPaul says), BUT, they have their place… and that is at the head of the friend table, not in the bedroom. 

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Some of us take our ‘best friend’ job very seriously. We are the investigators, the supporters, the judges, and sometimes we can even be the cockblockers. When The Spice Girls sang “if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,” too many of us raised our hands, shouted “Amen” and used this mantra as an excuse to karate kick the meat and two veg of the guy who was trying to take our best friend away from us. 

I dated this guy for a few weeks who was part of this exclusive inner trio. It was him and his two best friends. I had no idea when we started dating that one of them would be like this menacing shadow that was going to sabotage us. She was like the Eye of Sauron always watching and ever-present. It was clear she didn’t like me from the get-go for no other reason than I was taking attention away from her. I remember vividly when we were hanging out in his room and she stood at the doorway for an awkwardly long amount of time just talking to him and ignoring me. ‘What the hell was her problem?’ I thought. Now I know, she thought she owned him and it was up to her who got tenant her property.

Like I said, ‘Judies’ are special, but we don’t have ownership over our best friends and they’re not up for rent. It’s not up to the best friend to interview potential partners and suss them out. Opinions are important and vital, but there’s only one Judge Judy!

We are the ones that are dating, and we have the final say. 

Obviously, it’s awkward as fuck when partners don’t get along with friends and I think that often it’s a red flag. But if you’re a Judy who’s disrupting your friend’s relationships because you are scared of losing them then you need to do some serious self-reflection!

And if you’re being dictated to by that Judy then you need to re-evaluate that co-dependence. As far as I know, that guy is still single and probably always will be, while he is still getting influenced by his bestie. 

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