Ahead of New Zealand’s annual surrogacy event on 10 June, Sam Everingham talked to two leading voices in New Zealand’s surrogacy space: Christian Newman and Stewart Dalley. Stewart is an Auckland-based surrogacy lawyer and Christian is the founder of Love Makes a Family. Both are dads via domestic surrogacy.
Christian and his partner Mark have worked with two different local surrogates to create their family. The first time, Mark’s sister-in-law, Alisa, offered her eggs, and a previously unknown prospective surrogate reached out to a call on Facebook offering her womb.
Near the birth of their first child Frankie, Christian launched an Instagram account to fully document their journey. It proved incredibly popular, and Christian was constantly being messaged for tips about connecting with a surrogate or donor.
Seeing the huge need, he was inspired to set up a website where prospective surrogates, egg donors, sperm donors and intended parents can meet and match. Each can choose to interact, get to know each other, and if aligned, work together to build a family. While it accepts members from around the globe, the majority are in New Zealand or Australia, and it’s free.
Stewart Dalley is one of the few NZ lawyers to have developed a specialisation in domestic and international surrogacy arrangements. As a gay man with three children of his own via surrogacy, he is well-versed in the practicalities of navigating the law for gay couples.
Stewart sees many New Zealanders every year navigating this pathway. Around seventy percent go down the domestic route. He estimates that around half of these work with a traditional surrogate (who donates her eggs and womb). A key area of confusion he sees is in regard to surrogate expense reimbursements. “It’s a massive grey area” he admits, needing expert support. Altruistic surrogates need to ensure they are well supported, valued and reimbursed so they are never left out of pocket in the end.
Of the other thirty percent of Kiwis who engage offshore, most choose the USA, given it’s such a tried and tested route.
“You get what you pay for”, Stewart admits, given in the US, while it’s far more costly, surrogates are professionally screened and supported, taking much of the luck and stress out of the equation.
Stewart still sees clients coming for help well after they have a pregnant surrogate overseas. “You want to check the arrangement is legal in that country” Stewart warns. “You can be misled by agencies that getting documents will be easy.”
As for the current laws in New Zealand that apply to surrogacy arrangements, both Stewart and Christian agree these are simply not fit for purpose. For decades, New Zealand has simply shoved surrogacy cases into its adoption framework, forcing prospective parents to prove they are ‘a fit and proper person’ to raise a child. They need to undertake invasive criminal background checks and home visits. The transfer of parentage post-birth is slow and expensive. Thankfully Gay MP and dad via surrogacy Tamati Coffey has put forward a private members bill to push reform, and this has been further strengthened by the NZ’s Law Commission’s recent sensible recommendations for change. Tamati will be providing an update on progress at the 10 June seminar
As well, Stewart, Christian, along with three other gay dads, a panel of experienced surrogates, medical experts and counsellors will headline Growing Families 2023 Auckland seminar. The afternoon provides much-needed education and guidance to assist New Zealanders navigate the complexities of surrogacy. As usual, it will include not only local surrogacy, but arrangements in the US, Canada, Mexico and Colombia. There have been major disruptions in some overseas programs since the pandemic and the Ukraine war, so these will also be addressed. Most importantly, the afternoon provided the chance to ask tons of questions about the process, risks, actual costs and hurdles. More information here.
Sam Everingham is the Global Director of Growing Families and the author of Surrogacy Stories – Twenty Extraordinary Journeys to Parenthood.
