People in non-monogamous relationships report levels of satisfaction comparable to those in monogamous ones, according to a new meta-analysis published in The Journal of Sex Research. However, despite these similar levels of fulfilment, non-monogamous individuals continue to face more significant social stigma and discrimination.
The comprehensive study analysed 35 prior studies across the U.S. and Europe, encompassing feedback from 24,489 participants involved in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. Respondents shared their views on emotional and sexual satisfaction, whether they were in heterosexual or LGBTQ+ relationships, and whether they practised open relationships (allowing outside sexual partners) or polyamory (maintaining multiple committed emotional relationships).
The findings? Relationship satisfaction was consistent across all types, challenging the long-standing assumption that monogamy is inherently superior.
“Monogamous relationships are often assumed to offer greater satisfaction, intimacy, commitment, passion, and trust than non-monogamous ones,” said study lead author Joel Anderson, as quoted in The Independent. “This widespread belief – what we term as the ‘monogamy-superiority myth’ – is often reinforced by stereotypes and media narratives.”
Despite the parity in relationship happiness, Anderson noted that those in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships often encounter significant barriers, including social disapproval, discrimination, and limited access to supportive services and legal protections.
These findings echo past research. A 2022 study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin revealed that people in CNM relationships frequently experience social discomfort, devaluation, and even aggression from others. These reactions often lead to emotional distress, withdrawal of support, or pressure to conceal their relationship status.
Another 2023 study described the “moral halo” surrounding monogamy. In contrast, non-monogamous relationships were often labelled as “amoral,” “untrustworthy,” or “unhygienic”, further contributing to marginalisation. This stigmatisation has led many non-monogamous individuals to engage in “emotional labour” and educational efforts to push back against mononormative assumptions.
In addition to social pressures, CNM individuals frequently encounter bias within healthcare and mental health services, where monogamy is still often considered the default or most “healthy” form of relationship — a bias similar to those once faced by LGBTQ+ individuals.
Many non-monogamous people also reported needing to unlearn their own internalised bias in order to fully embrace their relationship style, often relying on strong peer networks and affirming communities to find acceptance.
“The strongest motivator for perseverance was the steadfast conviction that the advantages of CNM outweighed the challenges,” the study noted.
A 2017 study estimated that around 4–5% of North Americans are currently in a consensually non-monogamous relationship, while 21.9% have experienced one in the past. Notably, 12% said CNM represents their ideal relationship model.
As public conversations around relationship structures evolve, research like this underscores the importance of challenging outdated myths and embracing relationship diversity with the same openness we extend to other expressions of identity.
