Ask Agony Aunt Lisa: Are Dating Apps Just Hook-Up sites in Disguise

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Rainbow Counsellor Lisa Michelle is here to help with your problems.

I’m new to the dating scene and would like to meet someone with a view to a long-term relationship.  I’ve created a profile on NZ Dating, Grindr and Blendr but so far guys are only wanting to hook up. I’m not adverse to a one-night stand, but how do I find someone to share life with?

Sites like Grindr, and straight equivalent Tinder, provide the opportunity to meet like-minded (or like-bodied) souls in your local vicinity for a variety of reasons, predominantly short and sweet. It sounds like you are wanting to get to know someone on a deeper level than on your knees. How well do you know yourself? What are your holistic needs within a relationship? What qualities are important to you in a partner? What are your deal-breakers? Knowing ourselves is the first step to getting to know others. Be honest in your dating profiles and say you’re looking for a long-term relationship.  That would cut out a few contenders from the start, and you’re more likely to find someone like you.

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If you have an issue you would like Lisa to talk about in express, email and let her know at ask@gayexpress.co.nz

 Article | Lisa Michelle
Lisa Michelle is a Chaplain and Counsellor for the GLBT Community, working with both Rainbow Youth and OUTLine NZ as an independent consultant and also on the board of OUTLine. 

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