Rainbow Counsellor Lisa Michelle is here to help with your problems.
Q) My boyfriend and I are in a open relationship and we have a policy around giving each other space when either of us bring someone home. This has worked well for the last 4 years until last week when he brought home a woman. He is bisexual and I’ve always known that, but this is the first time he’s brought home a female. I stayed out in the lounge while they were in the bedroom, like I usually would, but this time I couldn’t focus on anything except what they were doing. Why was I so affected?
A)To know our partner is bisexual is one thing; to see them “in action” is quite another. You noticed a change in your response knowing your partner was with a woman as opposed to a man. What thoughts were going through your mind? Was there concern around him becoming attracted to her, or women in general, and leaving? Could she offer him something you couldn’t? Were you intrigued and wanting to join in? I suggest you ask yourself some questions, and, if you feel comfortable, share your feelings with your partner. He may be able to reassure you and together you can renegotiate your policy if required.
Article | gayexpress
Lisa Michelle is a Chaplain and Counsellor for the GLBT Community, working with both Rainbow Youth and OUTLine NZ as an independent consultant and also on the board of OUTLine.