Actress, comedian and karaoke queen Bryony Skillington discusses the ins and outs of girl on girl dating with Lydian Zanetti.

There’s so many stereotypes around women who date women – but Bryony Skillington doesn’t usually go for that sort.

Except her first girlfriend.


“She told me she loved tongue piercings so I went and got one,” Bryony says. “That made me feel more like a lesbian.

When I see straight women with one I think – you’ve probably done something with a vagina!” So, she’s done some of the cliché stuff too. Not that she agrees with the terminology either – “it seems archaic to only be with one gender and identify as such,” she says.

A recent graduate from the “lesbian school of doc martins”, Bryony has bought her first pair at 32. “Finally come into my own!” she quips, but on a more serious note feels much more comfortable in her skin recently.

“I came out to my grandmother and my extended family and they were like tell me something I don’t know,” she laughs. Her parents on the other hand are mostly just stoked she’s found someone who bakes, knits and isn’t stronger than her dad.

“Which was always going to be hard,” Bryony grins.

Hailing from Manchester, UK, when Bryony arrived in Tauranga she thought lesbians didn’t exist in New Zealand. So she’s glad to be in Auckland which she reckons has a slightly larger community than Wellington where she studied at Toi Whakaari Drama School.

“My ex in Wellington and I only had one mutual shag,” she says, “and that was good going.” But people have more joy down there, she thinks. “People in Auckland are always in transit and so you never have any time to see how beautiful people really are.”

Although her friends set her up with her current girlfriend, Bryony’s usual wooing technique is to take them to karaoke.

Which is ironic, as she is playing the manager in a karaoke bar for her latest play The Blind Date Project with Silo Theatre. “Go to karaoke and sing Back to Black in a sultry voice,” she suggests, “then it’s all over! Except I’m not singing all the time so the facade fades…”

Bryony says the best pick up line she has heard came from a girl she took out dancing. She said: I’m too drunk to have sex tonight, do you like morning sex? “I was like YES! And she replied – great! Let’s spoon!”

Bryony Skillington performs in Silo Theatre’s The Blind Date Project at The Basement Theatre from Tuesday 4 to Saturday 29 November. Tickets here

Skillington’s top ways to work out if the girl you like, likes girls?

1. She has a tongue piercing! In fact more than average number of piercings in general is a good sign!

2. Obscure tattoos. If they don’t mean anything to anyone but her – you’re in!

3. Side shave (hairstyle). It’s a dubious test, but an undercut usually means you’re getting warm – and hopefully wet!

4. Thumb rings. If it’s silver, she’s kinky to boot!

 Article | Lydia Zanetti