January: Ask Agony Uncle Eli

Agony Uncle Eli January 2017

Rainbow Counsellor Elijah Luke Michel is here to help with your problems:

I’ve recently separated from my partner of seven years and I’m at a loss as to how to start the new year without him. He was not only my partner, but my best friend and confidant, and I feel like half of me is missing. How do I face 2017 without him?

I’m sorry to hear of your separation. I’m concerned you’re feeling as if as if half of you is missing. It’s important to remember that in relationship we are two whole and separate entities choosing to spend life together — we can lose our partner, but should never lose part of ourselves. Take some time to grieve the loss of your relationship and create a ‘new normal’ moving forward. Also, what’s on your bucket list? This may be the end of an era for you, but it’s also the beginning of a new one if you allow it to be.


After a bout of depression, friends and family are asking me what my goals are for this year as my only goal for the past month has been staying alive. How do I answer their questions if I have no idea of my goals myself?

Firstly, well done for achieving your goal of staying alive — a goal deserving of remaining at the top of your list! Take some time to think about what’s important to you, your values. What’s your ideal in areas like health, relationships, career, finance, passions and interests? And how might you attain those ideals? Connect with people you admire and respect and who help you feel good about yourself, and remember this is your life journey, no one else’s, so stay true to you.

Elijah Luke Michel works with the LGBT+ community as a chaplain and face-to-face counsellor at OUTLineNZ. If you have an issue you would like Elijah to talk about in express, email ask@gayexpress.co.nz.