Ask Agony Uncle Eli


Rainbow Counsellor Elijah Luke Michel is here to help with your problems.

Q – Something terrible has happened. My sister’s engagement ring has gone missing and my family think my new boyfriend took it. He would never take anything that wasn’t his, but they think it was him because he has stood up to them and their anti same-sex marriage views in the past. How can I convince my family my boyfriend isn’t a thief?

A – Aside from utilising a lie detector – or coming across the ring – you can’t. It’s not a pleasant situation for any of you to be in. Ask your family if they genuinely believe that having differing views around marriage constitutes for thievery. If not, then remind them your boyfriend is innocent until proven guilty. If so, then let them have their skewed views and maintain a firm boundary about partaking in any discussion about it. You can remain loyal to all parties, but remember your boyfriend is new and you’ve known your family since birth. Here’s hoping the ring turns up.

Q – Last month I met a woman from Germany and we travelled the North Island together. She is currently on a Holiday Visa but has been blatantly honest about wanting to migrate to NZ. Yesterday she asked if I’d marry her so she could stay. Should I?


A – I’d suggest you deeply consider what she’s asking of you. You will know in your heart her request has nothing to do with love or commitment and that if you won’t agree to “play married” she will find someone else who will. I’d bear in mind the numerous requests for Partnership Visas our immigration department deals with each year, and the amount of investigation that goes into each to determine its validity. You would be taking a huge risk, and committing fraud in the process. Tell her to pursue other avenues and find an honest way to enter New Zealand. You, genuine asylum seekers, and our beautiful country are worth more. 

If you have an issue you would like Elijah to address in express, email Questions are only viewed by Elijah and your identity will remain completely confidential at all times.