Ask Agony Uncle Eli


Rainbow Counsellor Elijah Luke Michel is here to help with your problems.

Q.  My partner of 6 years was born biologically male but has recently come out as Transgender, thus we have been known as a ‘heterosexual’ couple, and now we are lesbian. I love her for who she is, but feminist friends of ours have suddenly become distant. They do not understand that she has always identified female and is still feminist (in that she is pro equal rights for women). Now is she presenting female they deem her not really female and therefore unable to be ‘feminist’. We don’t understand why as these same friends have always loved that “he” was pro-female rights and still very much is. Can you enlighten us?

A.  I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such an adverse reaction to your partner’s coming out. I love how you love her for who she is, regardless of what gender she identifies – that in itself is priceless. Have a read of the Huffington Post article Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminism: What Exactly Is It And Why Does It Hurt? ( and surround yourselves with more humane feminists friends.


Q.  I’m at a crossroads. I have been active in the business world for 30 years and am turning 50 this year. I don’t know if it’s a ‘mid-life crisis’ or if I’m simply ready for a change, but I’m considering selling my (very) lucrative business and setting up a Glee-type drama school for young and old members of the Rainbow community. I have a background in musicals and have facilitated many workshops so I’m sure I can teach effectively. I’m just unsure as to whether or not it will be worth the financial risk?

A.  You certainly sound like you have what it takes to pull it off, and a Rainbow Glee drama school sounds great! You have some concerns though, so listen to your intuition. Are you ready to make this move now? Do you have a business plan in mind, and a back up plan if it somehow falls through? Seek some professional financial advice, find some like-minded partners, and see if you can bring some Glee to NZ.

If you have an issue you would like Elijah to address in express, email are only viewed by Elijah and your identity will remain completely confidential at all times.