Musician Spencer Brown has come out as gay through the music magazine Billboard.
The 26-year-old techno DJ from San Francisco started playing with Avicii, and now is the headliner of many musical events, such as the world’s largest electronic music festival Electric Daisy Carnival.
In an open letter published by Billboard, he described how he decided to “get out of the closet.”
“I’m gay. Now it’s a lot easier said than a few years ago,” Brown wrote. “Although I have never denied this publicly, I have not spoken directly about it. But I will no longer live in fear.”
The DJ grew up in a “heteronormative community” in Dallas and, being gay, struggled with “enduring self-hatred” and “frightening anxiety”. During these years, he was saved by the local dance music community.
“As a teenager, I looked at parties to join a community where all races, genders, sexuality and religions were together to glorify life, ” Brown writes. “Everyone who brought positive energy was waiting there.”
But amid constant anxiety, a gay teenager developed obsessive-compulsive disorder. He was able to overcome it only 6 years ago, when he accepted his homosexuality.
“At age 20, depression covered me in the summer in Los Angeles,” the DJ continues. “I well remember how I could barely get out of bed and constantly shed tears, looking at my own reflection in the mirror. Then I first asked myself the question:“ I gay? “It can’t be. No way. The family will be in shock. Friends will turn away from me. I have no future. I can’t have children. Why live?
That day was a turning point for me. Six years have passed since then, my life has improved so much that now I can only laugh at those frightening predictions that once imagined my imagination. ”
Brown gradually began to reveal himself to friends and relatives, and with each such “exit” his confidence intensified, and his self-hatred disappeared: “I had a reason to love living.”
The musician, who released his second album “Stream of Consciousness” in January, hopes that his story will resonate in the hearts of “everyone who fights for their gender and sexual identities.”