Gay Dating: Is That Your Boyfriend Or Your Brother?

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Dick Richards aims his lens at gay couples who look like twins and asks if this phenomenon is narcissistic or natural?

Self-love, I’ve talked about it many times. Under its umbrella are many things, like eating better, going to sleep at a decent hour, exercise, positive self-talk, loving your body, therapy, socialising, stretching, respecting yourself, using 3 ply toilet paper, etc. It’s a blanket term for many things. 

While many of us are learning to love ourselves for who we are, or literally loving ourselves with our hands, what I find most fascinating are the guys who are loving their doppelgängers. Apparently, we all have one, or several. In fact, I’ve met one of mine, but I’ve never wanted to fuck him. Yes, lookalike couples exist. I’m sure you’ve seen them, and I’m sure you’ve done a double-take at these boyfriend twins. 

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I’ve heard this theory, that we are naturally attracted to people who share the same features as ourselves. We all look in a mirror at least once a day and, in our subconscious, we feel safe with the familiar. But what does it mean when we date our lookalike? Is it a form of self-love or is it just pure narcissism? Narcissus fell in love with this own reflection in a pool of water, and though none of us are that stupid, it appears some of us are only interested in dating and fucking our selfies. 

In my last article, I talked about types and labels, but are we just fucking ourselves when our type is literally ‘ourselves’?

What I mean is, are you setting yourself up for failure? The pool of gay men in the world is smaller than the hetero pool, then factor in location, type, sexual preference (if that’s important to you), chemistry, availability, and what they’re up for in terms of a relationship, and the pool is very small. Then add in the fact they have to look like you, well then, you might as well just drill a glory hole in a full-length mirror. You’re limiting yourself in an already difficult dating arena. I mean, we don’t need a reminder of how small the gay pool is. 

Similar looks can mean similar interests, but not always. A guy who wears muscle tees will probably have a gym membership and want to date someone who wants to spot him and share a protein shake with. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone you can share your hobbies and interests with, but they don’t need to be a mirror. 

Maybe who we’re attracted to is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. If deep down we hate ourselves, maybe we will date someone who looks completely different. If we are attracted to someone with similar features, maybe that’s a way of loving a part of ourselves that we haven’t been able to give love to on our own? It’s something to think about… to know thyself is to love thyself. 

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