Is it time to mourn the end of a gay happily ever after, or are you just too fussy? Dick Richards has the answers.
The gay dating scene is dead. Gay guys just want to fuck. The gay dating pool is too small. I’m sure you’ve heard these statements before or even said it yourself, and while there is truth to them and blanket statements can be fun to make, I think it’s wise to search a little deeper.
We’re all aware of red flags. Some are different for others, and some are the same across the board. Usually lying is a red flag for everyone, and for some, wearing Lynx deodorant is a see ya later. Dare I say it, for some, I think we’ve become so fussy that basically anything is a red flag. He doesn’t have a well-paying job, he’s still flatting, he has big nipples… Are these really deal-breakers, or are we just putting nails in our own single coffins? But enough about the red flags; I want to talk about green flags.
Have you ever been dating someone where you thought there was potential for something more? Yes. Did you let yourself think that maybe they were the one to take you out of the dating pool? Yes. Did this person break your heart? Yes. These are generic questions most of us could answer yes to – that was purposeful. Because I want you to think and ask yourself… was this person’s flag green?
I’ve heard over and over again that you won’t ever meet someone when you want – it will happen when you least expect it. It’s patronizing and frustrating to hear, but I’ve seen so many examples of this being true. When you’ve been in a desert for a while, it’s easy to be tricked by a mirage, and when you’ve been single for so long, it’s easy to be swept up by a fuck boy. When you’re hungry, you can see things that aren’t there (green flags) and ignore the things that are there (red flags), and that’s dangerous for your heart and your mental health.
Navigating the dating scene is difficult enough, so don’t waste your time with someone when their flag isn’t green. There are too many people who think they want to date and have a relationship, but they’re just not. They want casual sex and a friend with benefits. They pretend they have a green flag, but instead, they’re just wanting their flagpole polished. You’ll know because there are signs – red flags.
So how do you know if someone’s flag is green? That’s a good question, but I want to suggest another, more important one: how do you know when YOUR flag is green? If there’s anything to learn from this article, it is this: There’s no point for anyone to date unless they’re ready to. Do you WANT to date, or do you just want sex? Do you WANT the highs and lows of a relationship, or are you just wanting company? Don’t dive into the dating pond unless you’re actually ready to date, and when you do, hopefully, you’ll meet someone who’s just as ready as you. Because when it’s green, it’s all go.
