Ask Agony Aunt Lisa – The Cheat


Rainbow Counsellor Lisa Michelle is here to help with your problems.

Q. I’ve just found my boyfriend has had another girlfriend on the side. I am transgender so I feel even worse as although I am fully transitioned I can’t compete with a biological female. Do I give up on finding a man to settle down with and marry? My heart is aching.

A. Never ever give up on your dreams! Cheating is cheating, regardless of sexual identity or gender identity, and you deserve better than that. Take some time to heal your heart, and learn to enjoy being with yourself until you feel ready to trust again. There are plenty of loyal guys out there so when you’re ready to start dating again, go slowly and get to know a guy as well as you can – meet his friends and family, observe how he reacts in stressful situations, and ensure you have shared values and future goals – before letting your heart go. I wish you well.


If you have an issue you would like Lisa to talk about in express, email and let her know at

 Article | Aunt Lisa

Lisa Michelle is a Chaplain and Counsellor for the GLBT Community, working with both Rainbow Youth and OUTLine NZ as an independent consultant and also on the board of OUTLine.