Ask Agony Aunt Lisa: The Age Difference

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Rainbow Counsellor Lisa Michelle is here to help with your problems.

I have a question around age difference: I am almost 60 and I have started dating a much younger man, in his early 20’s. When we go out people give us disgusted looks, if we dare to show public displays of affection. I realise I look like his grandfather – or his father, at least – but our relationship has been based on emotional bonding online long before we met. I know age difference is a big deal to lots of people, so here I am in a relationship that is abhorrent on all levels. Do we give up before it even starts?

Firstly, your relationship is not by any means abhorrent. You have fallen in love with someone’s spirit that just happens to be in a younger body. That’s okay. Keep an eye on the roles you may find yourself taking on – you may be older and wiser, but you don’t want to come across as knowing everything or “parenting” your partner, and watch for him becoming dependent on you. Aside from that – FTW. It’s hard enough being gay and wanting to show PDA, so you don’t need to take on board others’ opinions of you when you’re out together. Put your blinders on and enjoy spending time with your new young man.

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If you have an issue you would like Lisa to talk about in express, email and let her know at ask@gayexpress.co.nz

Lisa Michelle is a Chaplain and Counsellor for the GLBT Community, working with both Rainbow Youth and OUTLine NZ as an independent consultant and also on the board of OUTLine.

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