Māori TV host the Birdman, Luke Bird is missing sex, laughter, espresso martinis and being irritatingly loud in restaurants! Here the entertainer shares his Lockdown experience with us!

Tell us about your Level 4 Lockdown!

You know when you come across a little sparrow bird and as soon you get close they flap as fast as they can to get away? Well, that was exactly my experience when the cases were announced in Auckland. I flapped my flaps (wings) as fast and hard as I could and gapped it from Auckland to come home to the winterless north in Whangarei to be at the BIRDnest – my family home with my MammaBIRD & Princess Royal (my Mum and Aunty). Some might say ‘HOLY HECK that would drive me nuts’ but to be fair these two stunning humans are people who keep me grounded and at a time like this when everything can be a bit all over the place! You definitely need that kind of Whanau support to bring you back in line (and also because you cannot beat a home-cooked meal). I’ve actually been somewhat busy, prior to the lockdown I was filming my tv show ‘Lucky Dip’ and then shooting a show for TVNZ for NZ Fashion Week, which is currently on hold but will be back soon! I also co-host a breakfast radio show every morning of Lockdown which is now online so talk about keeping my talons in lots of pies – I’m pretty much a boss biatch! 


What are your top tips for express readers who are struggling with self-isolation? 
…You might actually need a good set of earplugs or headphones to drown out everyone else’s issues that you’re prone to hear right? Talk about having a good poker face for your flatties I’ve thought about how I’m to keep myself busy and if you know me or seen me you’d know I’m definitely a social guy and ALWAYS flapping around at events or hosting them so during a time of isolation I’ve had to think of the how, what, who and where, but, it gives everything you do now more purpose and reason to make it happen. Be active – in mind, body and purpose, in fact, in everything you do. Make it fun! Sing like no one is around and listening because they’re not!  

What is the most positive aspect of self-isolation you’ve experienced so far? 
I’m AMAZED at how fast my bald head hair grows – it’s actually quite entertaining watching the little follicles bounce back after I shave them! Apart from cooking and baking (I trained as a chef for two years), I’m loving the fact that I can play catch up with myself. We tend to put a lot in the ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’ box so now there’s no excuse for it, I’m chugging along nicely. It sounds cocky but I get to watch myself on TV and see just why people really LOVE watching my show. I actually crack my jockstrap with laughter watching it #dontjudgeme!

What plans do you have between now and the end of lockdown?
I’m working out as much as I can be arsed to (my trainer is on me harder than in real life) so the plan is to be an even better version of me. As I mentioned, I was filming tv prior to the lockdown and have lots booked in for the rest of the year so now it’s a matter of reshuffling things so when we do find our freedom, then BOOMSHAKALAKALAKA the BIRD is flapping around the country once again!
I like being busy. I have created a full-time career being myself so to create busy from being yourself I think is awesome! My school report would say ‘Luke is too colourful, he’s too loud and needs to learn to blend in,’ I find it funny that my career has taken me all over the world and I get paid to literally be loud, be colourful and be myself! 

What are you missing most about ‘normal life’?
I’m missing socialising in person. My friends, eating out, dressing up for an event, perving and being perved at, at the gym. To be very honest with you lockdown teaches us a very firm lesson that everyone is equal. You really do appreciate what is essential and what’s not. So it’s actually good at showing what counts and what’s a waste of your energy but look, if I could get my fave coconut milk double shot latte from Florence Cafe then, back the bus up, and I’m there!

What will be the first thing that you can’t wait to do when regular life resumes? 
Sex! But I don’t kiss and tell – ever! Other than Fornicating Under the Command of the King-ing  (work that code out) I’m definitely looking forward to going out with my Mum and my mates for the best MotherF@&#ing espresso martini and laughing so loud people want to move tables away from us!

You can catch Luke Bird’s ‘Lucky Dip’ every Thursday 8pm on Māori TV or on-demand.